While Your Hand was Broken

by Biff

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released December 31, 2014




Biff Denver, Colorado

Rock band from Denver, Colorado - est. 1997

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Track Name: No Retrograde
Thought I'd found passage. Thought they would get me through. Provided answers, thought made sense to you. Let us find impulsion, how else will we move? Let go convictions, I've been betrayed by you. This is the final stop. It's time to get off. Your currency considered counterfeit. Have to proceed on foot. It's a burden. It's a delay. It's a set back. All this time's been wasted. You know you can't do it over. You know you can't take it back. Just have to try to live with it. There is no retrograde. There's only forward motion. There is no retrograde. This is the final stop. You have to get off. Federal note was found to be fraudulent. Have to proceed on foot, you have to ticket. There is no extrication. There can only be forward motion. This is the bed I'm lying in. This is the place I want to be. Right here sleeping next to you. There's only forward motion. This is the bed I'm lying in. This is the place I want to be. Right here sleeping next to you. There is no retrograde.
Track Name: Housebreaker
These are painstaking efforts to conceal myself. What are you trying to hide? Only every true color and reason I lie. Oh...That sounds exhausting… Yea it is and I could sure use some help. How can I be of service? Be a mirror, reflecting every reason I can't see myself. I can surely do that. No comfort found in truth. Antisocial efforts to dodge the sleuth. I'll keep one eye on the prize, while other watches my backside. I know What's right. Compelled to connive. So I'll take What's not mine, pretend kind and feel fine. The sins of the father, visited upon the many. Let all those who cross my path know my pain. The vacant fatherhood is a detestable stain; his absence finds a boy bound headlong for machismo. The unripe man of the house is clumsy in these new clown shoes. The weight of the world placed on such young shoulders, a prelude to buckled knees and a shattered spine, yet the devious youth has been produce, the choices he has made have been made under pressures previously undreamed of in young nightmares. Sweet dreams my son.
Track Name: Scramblr
A collection of photos, meant for my eyes to see. Only wanted to celebrate beauty, but the men of the cloth don't agree.. Therefore I am a sinner. Therefore I'll burn in hell. Cause I'm not wired to seek forgiveness. Apparently my soul's for sale. They say that I am wrong, that I ought to repent. I should be ashamed of myself. My desires are inappropriate. And so I am a sinner. And my mind is not well. I've been corrupted by this perversion. Their moral teachings have failed…on me. Now just one question remains, am I feeding a monster? That keeps them awake at night, wishing they had chosen better.. Than to have exposed themselves to this world full of voyeurs. One fact we must acknowledge that they're someone's daughters. So I respect them. Give them to providence. Reject all those who would damn them.
Track Name: My Blood
Now, my blood comes forth, I feel the change as I push, the fear from my mind. Who are you? Why did you choose me? Who am I? I'm no one. I'm your father, I can't fathom how this came to be. I submit. I surrender myself. I'm here to serve you, in all the ways that I have been served. All that's mine is yours always. Now I know it falls on me to teach you how to be a brave and reverent man. The way I hope I am. Now we join to give you life. With joy and passion we instill your sight. From the first of a billion heart beats there is no condition to this love son. Two became one, created a son, with all we are we welcome you home.
Track Name: Insulted
I'm insulted by this assigned blame. Allegations lead to defensive games. Obligated to take responsibility. For my actions, it's what's expected of me. Wash my mouth out with soap, I've been a bad boy. It's madness, all around me. Can't tell the truth from my own lies and those I despise and it's no surprise. All is fair in love and war, so load up and shoot some more. You always listen to the man dressed in red, who sits on your shoulder, directs you to evil, evil bullshit. I'm insulted that your still the same, never changing your defensive games. Beat my ass with a belt been a bad boy.
Track Name: Blue Ruin
Calamity Enlightens me. It's a revealing situation. Humanity confronts me, with all it's beauty and it's horror. And all that motivates certainly cannot wait. We demand instant satisfaction. Conquered by, conquered by the blues. Convictions are, convictions are obtuse. Calamity frightens me. I can see every dark angle. A sign of things to come, blood-spattered battles won, as we brave our collective adolescence. Terra, Terra, Terra Firma. Conquered by, Conquered by the blues. Convictions are, convictions are obtuse. Calamity confuses me. It seems we have nowhere to turn. Should we trust guiding words? Even when they seem absurd? We recall no advice from our mother.
Track Name: Nightmares About Monsters
Had a bad dream. Ensued by screams. Beasts were chasing me. Bolted from them to flee. I woke up in bed. Covered in sweat, I was cold I was wet. To the brim filled full of regret. Didn't realize the chance I had. Could have conquered fears. Grinded all the gears. That spin in this machine. My blood runs thick in me. Attempts to retain messages from my unconscious have been futile; active imagination could be my only hope; perhaps I have held overzealous expectations of discovering answers to all questions; yet I'm compelled by concepts of archetypal images of wholeness in alchemy as I long to meld with the wisdom that created me. Could have halted fears that dominate my years as a human being on the planet Earth … Slay the beast (Earth…) that haunts me. I'll slay the beast (Earth) before it kills me. Nightmares about monsters. Bad dreams make it harder, to sleep without covers. Don't dare look under or be torn asunder.
Track Name: Tattoos
Six hour plane, 50th state. Rendezvous planned I couldn't wait. Descended to Earth, touched the landing strip.. She received me with a hug and a kiss. I love retro-anything. I love your tattoos. Naked she tended her beauty. We stood in the smallest room. I pondered if someone should pinch me. As I gazed in awe with gratitude. With tan skin and tattoos, she motioned for me to come close. With blond curls, she leaned back, and I felt her every curve. Fuck retro-anything. Fuck your tattoos. Naked she gave herself to me. Enveloped in the smallest room. I wondered when someone would wake me. Now I wish to recall her pulchritude. Felicity and Arcadia; don't know if I'll ever get back there again and so I want to preserve every memory I can and so I'll Carve them here in binary so this sound can be read by light. Yet these retentions are so marred with feelings of loss and grief over these dying versions of myself because I am not the man I used to be twelve-five-twenty-three has long since left me, she is nothing but a fading memory. A belt of orchids and two guardian birds, will remain etched in ink, on her solar plexus. Now it's nostalgia and and it's beauty that I will never see again. Surrounded by ocean. The Earth's volcanoes venting near. You cannot imagine the depth of love I felt for her there. Buoyancy in moving water clasping arms pressed chest to chest where salty tides trusting return us to the shore where bodies rest. Resplendent light was felt when near you each time that I closed my eyes. Your tattoos left impressions on me and we are forever tied.
Track Name: Skeletal
Yes it was horrible. She was his little girl. Heinous with all we know. Beyond despicable. The chart says he crossed the boundary and so we don't have much sympathy. His skeletons are in her closet. Though she'll try, her blood will never wash them out. And so this trauma thrives. Can see in it her eyes. Forgiveness is wanting to defecate on his fucking grave. Her cuts are deep. Her scars won't leave. Her limbs will bleed. She just wants to control her own pain. Her chart says he crossed the boundary. And thus explains our apathy. His skeletons will terrorize her and though she'll try, her blood will never wash them out. The perpetrator is at large. No heroes have managed to muscle him behind bars. Such atrocities cannot stand. The sweet sixteen slices up her arms and no one understands.. How does a man become a monster? How does a man rape his daughter? This is sick, beyond sick and there is no cure.
Track Name: The Grandest Gate
All of the eons of evolution's forces are pulling me into you. It's like a magnet. I cannot separate. This force attracts us, obliged to congregate. More than enticing. More than all I am and all I know. More than worthy of worship. With this mass and gravity I grow. Cannot contain. Drives me insane. Never thought that I could be so comfortable in such a very small warm, wonderful and ever so tight space. It's like a magnet. I cannot separate. This force attracts us to this, the grandest of all gates. This is the gate, gateway to the world. Just let me in. Just let me through. I promise I will always ask you. I know I am not worthy. Just say the work and I shall be healed. Woman you are divine.
Track Name: Broken Hand
Bad luck, it seems to follow you, everywhere that you go to. Don't fret cause there will be an end to all of this madness. Been left to life with a broken hand. Condolences, this fucked up your plans. Can't even keep on playing with your band. We really wish you could just make it man. You can't J.O. with a broken hand. Broken hand. Here we are now on the pillars of medical science. Let it heal.
Track Name: The End is Fear
I fear change, more than anything. And parts of me are constantly dying. I can't fake this. I'm scared half to death. I can't hide the fact that I have regrets. Must strike a pose while I find my balance. Can't let them know that I'm wrought by fraudulence. Who am I now? Who was I then? Who will be tomorrow? A desolate man without a plan and consumed by sorrow. Now on two knees, nothing but septic air to breathe, and so it seems I can't ignore, this wretched vial lore. Yet this is her beloved book. Can't even bring myself to take a second look. And so I pour myself out. Expose and banish all my doubt. That this truly is my path. So I can be cleansed at last. And prepare for my impending parenthood. These things are too often misunderstood. I fear change more than anything. But some parts of me just aren't worth saving. Much like gangrenous limbs. Much like a cancer. I must cut and gore them out. I can't fake it. I'm scared to death.

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